I don't know what I'm going to write about in this xanga entry... I think I might write something about this generation and how disparate it is for God's love with out even knowing it. How I feel pain and sorrow for the youth of this generation who are obsessed with their weight to the point that 98 lbs seems obese.

This Generation is being attacked by Satan in the media, in music and in all of pop culture. Images of underweight celebrities gaining publicity as being beautiful fashion icons, while also being submitted to ridicule with rumors of eating disorders.

Which image is the media trying to portray?

That these underweight women are the picture of beauty and perfection? Icons to be admired? Or that they're unhealthy, anorexic, and need help?

The media portrays both views.

Which are we to believe? There are those... many in fact who believe the first. That these women are to be mimicked, therefore causing otherwise healthy, normal weight or even underweight women and teens, to see themselves as fat in comparison to the world's standard of beauty.

What happens then, when these underweight celebrities gain weight and achieve their ideal weight?

They're ridiculed again. This time, not for having an eating disorder but for going "overboard" and becoming chunky, or flabby, Some, in the media, may say its good that they have gained weight, but others will say they're becoming fat. Once again contradictory views given to us by the media.

In a world where pop culture is obsessed with weight, is it any wonder that today's generation, who is submerged in, even worships pop culture, is also obsessed with their own weight?

I am so blessed to be loved, for none of is by my own doing. None of it was earned. God loves me even though I disappoint Him everyday. We all do, and he loves us anyway. I disappoint my parents, and they love me regardless.

I thank God

... That I have never felt depression and sorrow so strongly and deeply that cutting or harming myself makes me feel better.
... That I have never experienced the pain of having parents who truly hate me and wish I had never been born. Who call me worthless and nothing.
... That my parents never hit me, I've never seen them drunk, they do love me, and have never called me worthless.

I can't imagine the pain.

... Of having parents who only provide for their children with food and shelter and think their job is done.
... Of having parents who fail at loving their own children.
... Of having parents who call you worthless, who hit you and say you're not good for anything, that you should never have been born.
... Of living with that everyday.

I am so blessed to be loved, for none of is by my own doing. None of it was earned. God loves me even though I disappoint Him everyday. We all do, and he loves us anyway. I disappoint my parents, and they love me regardless.

One must begin to believe the lies they're surrounded with.

How much pain and suffering must this generation go through before they know the truth of God's unconditional love? His sacrifice? His purpose for us?

All of us are fearfully and wonderfully made!

It doesn't matter how you were conceived, who your parents are, where you live. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Someone for all creation to admire the work of God's hands. He brings light out of darkness, and order out of chaos. He can make something beautiful out of a hopeless situation, and he can do something beautiful with everyone, including you.

I know I said I wouldn't make another entry until I got at least one comment... I lied... (forgive me)

Some of you who know Allen, my boyfriend, already know what's going on with us. We are both so in love with eachother, but we're realizing, at least I'm realizing, I think I can speak for him as well, that we started it all wrong and have continued to go about our relationship all wrong for the past two years. I'm realizing that to have a relationship that is truely glorifying to God, and to truely know who God has for you, you must first completely fall in love with Jesus, and be willing to follow him no matter what. You must completely fall in love with God before you're able to love another person in a Godly way. Thinking about it now, I really advocate courting as an alternative to dating, because the focus is on what God wants for you, and what he wants from you. It's a tad late for us to start courting... especially since it's a long distance thing... but we are taking time to pursue God individually, and fall in love with him. We aren't broken up, but we're pursuing God individually, so that we may have Him in every aspect of our lives, including our relationship together. Our focus is not us and our relationship, but it's on God and putting God ahead of all else, that everything on earth is garbage in comparison, including our relationships. We're best friends, and though we're still technically, "together," we're best friends, and brother and sister in Christ, above our relationship. Pray for us. It's difficult, and it was very difficult deciding that this change was best for us individually, as well as together.

<3 Jesus <3                                                    <3 Allen <3

Why do I write entries as if I actually expect people to read them? sigh... It's my own fault for neglecting my xanga updating for so long that people don't expect to find anything new anymore when they come to my xanga... But I'm updating again... so please comment.... I WANT  COMMENTS!!!... wow... I need a life.

I like dark chocolate